Living a lie
by Taito-chan
Summary: Taito fic. I'm not totally sure what it's about, you tell me...


*Living a lie*  
  
{Hey, this is Taito-chan! Umm..yes, taitoey goodness.somewhat. Kinda strange, but that's okay. First taito fic on ffn.net, so be nice.And uh, I don't own Digimon, someone much richer does.)  
  
.Living a lie is never the solution to telling the truth.  
  
  
  
Keeping your life on track is impossible. It's like trying to stop a train from spinning wildly out of control once the brakes are gone and it's careening off a cliff. Already too late.  
  
Yamato Ishida's life was like that. He had once had a direction. Now he couldn't even decide if he wanted to wear black or blue for his next concert.  
  
It wasn't that he wasn't happy, because he was. Really. His little brother and Kari were engaged, he himself was planning to pop the question to Sora soon. And she would say yes, of course. So why he couldn't get his mind off Taichi Yagami was the question of the hour.  
  
"Yamato! We're on in five!" Killian, his new drummer called from the stage, where everyone but him was tuning up.  
  
The phone rang. It was Sora. She was on her cell phone, coming home from the design agency she was interned at. She couldn't make it to the concert. What else was new?  
  
Once, Sora had been his number one fan. She wouldn't miss a single concert or photo shoot. Now her job was more important than him.  
  
He wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. The fiery haired girl had held little appeal to him when they started going out. The only thing he ever liked about her was how much she boosted his ego. Then he started to depend on her, to be the one who would always be there, always care for him, even after they were all in college and working. After all, everyone else had deserted him, even Taichi who claimed to be his best friend.  
  
Sure, they all kept in touch, but it wasn't enough. Yamato missed the closeness of the digiworld, although many years had passed since then. He missed arguing with Tai, patronizing Mimi and Joe, taking care of TK, listening, if not understanding Izzy, and generally ignoring Sora. And Gabumon, he missed him almost as much as he now missed Tai. Gabumon was still what Yamato felt was his only true friend.  
  
Yamato wondered what had happened. Tai had told him that they would always be together, that they would grow old together, as old men, best friends. They would have double weddings, raise each other's kids, and have fun together. They would even die together. Of course that's what Taichi said before he kissed him. After that Tai moved away, far from Yamato, far from their dreams.  
  
Yamato wasn't sure what had possessed him that night. He had felt similar to what he felt now, somewhat nostalgic, kinda reckless, kinda helpless, and a slave to his instincts. His instincts had told him to kiss Taichi instead of getting in the car with Sora. He had let Sora leave, drive away with his only chance to escape being the monster Taichi thought him afterwards.  
  
He had always known he felt something for his friend. But he was Yamato Ishida. He would never let his feelings get in the way of his dreams. He dreamt of being a star, literally. Since he couldn't achieve that he decided to do the closest thing, be a rockstar. And one day, maybe visit the stars.  
  
A rockstar could never be gay, unless they wanted to be looked down upon. At least, that's what his father had told him. That's what the news said. The ones who were gay were never as popular as the ones who weren't. They weren't the ones people went to see because they weren't stars, they were wannabes who couldn't make it to the top.  
  
So Yamato wasn't gay. He was bi. Still, he had never heard of a star being bi either, so he kept his preferences a secret. Until that night. Worshipping Taichi from afar had become a drag. It hurt his psyche to love someone he had always looked down upon. Who had always looked down upon him. Even though they had been best friends, each had always seen themselves as the greater man. Yamato decided to prove it.  
  
Just by a simple kiss. He had thought maybe, just for a minute, maybe Tai loved him like he loved Tai. It was in his eyes, certainly. He was drunk, he hadn't known any different. Even if Tai didn't like him that way, he was drunk too, he probably wouldn't even remember, it had seemed perfectly reasonable. So he kissed him. Only to be slapped in the face and shoved to the ground. Spit upon, like some kind of savage animal at the zoo.  
  
Slamming his hand down, Yamato stopped his thoughts. He would sing, that's all he could do. It was the only thing he could do to stop his memories from resurfacing. Why today of all days? Why was he thinking about Tai on the day that could land him a huge record deal?  
  
On stage, all was forgotten, at least for a time. He finished his song. Then he spotted Kari and TK. Recognizable still, he did see them every week or so. But there were three others with them. And there was Sora. She had never bothered to show at the end of his concerts if she missed the beginning. The woman standing in the midst of the new three seemed familiar, and the two other men had the same familiar aura. The woman had rose colored hair, light pink sunglasses, white slacks, and a bright pink jean jacket over a lavender halter. One of the men wore long army green khakis and an orange button down shirt over a black wife beater, and the third man, the one with blue black hair wore a professional looking suit. Mimi, Izzy, and Joe.  
  
Their faces were grim. The first thought to pop into his mind was Tai.  
  
After the concert, they met him in his dressing room, with hugs and greetings. "So, what's up?" Mimi looked toward the ceiling innocently, but her expression was not cheerful, not like the old Mimi. She didn't mean it as their old childhood joke.  
  
"Yamato.I'm sorry. Tai.he's disappeared." Joe mummered.  
  
At the same moment, Killian ran in, "Hey Yama! We got the record deal!"  
  
{A/N: Taito-chan: I am a sick, sick person.  
  
Chibi-Shido: nods in agreement  
  
Taito-chan: You weren't supposed to agree.*glare*  
  
Chibi-Shido: Hey, ya know as long as it's not another crossover fic with me and Ryoga.  
  
Taito-chan: blush SHHHHHHH, they weren't supposed to know about that one yet!  
  
Uhhhh...Please review. Be nice. ^_^} 


End file.
